1.  See the picture of the Enneagram below.  After taking the assessment, you'll discover that 1 of the 9 types is more dominate than the others.  From that dominate type - each type is connected to 4 others.  (My Type 8 is connected with the 7 and the 9 - the types on either side called wings; and Types 5 and 2.) 


2.  The 3 Centers: feeling, gut/instinct; intellect:

We’ve been created with all 3 centers; ONE IS USUALLY DOMINATE.

Notice that the top row (of the Enneagram Types in Boxes) - Types 1, 8, 9 - operate mostly out of the gut/instinct center. (middle row – Types 2, 3, 4 - feeling center; bottom row – Types 5, 6, 7 - intellect)

Ask yourself - Which of the 3 centers is dominate? - or - Which center do I relate to most?

I relate most to Type 8. Thus, my dominate center is gut/instinct.   I'm glad I'm aware of this because when I don't allow for either the feeling and/or the intellect piece in me, I can be tactless/unempathetic and/or impulsive/without thought.  My gut/instinct leads me to understand someone, for example, is in emotional stress - often before the person knows that him or herself!   At that point I need that feeling piece to show up so I can empathize and  be with my family member, friend or client; I need a boatload of tact!   My gut/instinct works wonderfully when I need to act now - wherein when to take time to think/intellect about what to do or to allow my feelings to take over would actually get in the way when a crisis occurs.

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3.  Notice that each type's characteristics go from healthy to unhealthy. The questions we want to ask ourselves are these:

What do I believe about myself, others, God when I'm unhealty and healthy?
Who am I hanging around with?

It's possible to maintain mental and emotional stability (& even better than that!) when boundaries are made to keep ourselves in places and with people that inspire healthy characteristics to flow out of us.  

 

 My all-time favorite tool to understand what I'm talking about is to know the difference between being within PBA and ABP relationships.  Click here to find the link to the PBA/ABP page I created:    More help from Pam to explore the Enneagram

 

 

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When I'm not aware that I'm not in a good place with the relationship I have with myself (what I call my internal environment) unhealthy characteristics will most likely appear. When I am aware of that, I get honest with myself or whoever I'm with and say something like, "I'm not in a good place right now; I need some space." - or - "I need to talk." , etc.  Doing that prevents that unhealth to mess with me and/or others. 

 

I've actually physically left environments that trigger unhealthy characteristics.  My unhealthy Type 8 would rather verbally fight back with anyone who attempts to mess with me or those I love - especially when I'm in spiritually unhealthy environments;  I don't like to back down!  That's not a bad thing when it's necessary to make a stand.  But all too often

I have needed to re-group ( a connection with the Type 8 to the Type 5 - the Observer) before I've said anything.  The way I've made my stand has often harmed me. 

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4. Notice the DESIRE and FEAR of each type. They play off each other. Note that nothing is wrong with any of the desires (in fact, they are natural) - BUT - when fear shows up - the desires have the tendency to master us - unless we evaluate where that fear is coming from!  Fear is not a problem, either.  Those who have no fear wind up hurting themselves or others.  Evaluate what the object of the fear is and then figure out what to do about it! 

 I don't want to be mastered by anything; DO YOU?
After reading the fears/desires of each type, which one(s) fit you? 


Example:

Type 1: When "fear of condemnation" shows up, the innocent "desire to be right" turns into those UNHEALTHY characteristics as seen within the box depicting Type 1.

Type 2: When the "fear of being unloved" shows up, the innocent desire "to be loved" turns into those UNHEALTHY characteristics as seen within the box depicting Type 2.  

Types 3-9 - same premise. 

 

 

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My Type 8 desires to be independent.  My fear is to be controlled.  Nothing's wrong with desiring independence EXCEPT when my fear to be controlled shows up when no attempt is being made to control me!  For example, within my marriage, Phil has never attempted to control me.  Until I worked through my issue of being within a spiritual community for many years that attempted to control me by telling me who I could or could not pray with, I saw Phil as one of those pastors/church leaders.  (Phil is also a pastor.)  I didn't need independence from him!   He was not the object of my fear!

 

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5.  I enjoy bringing examples from my own life into sessions and into what I write for 2 reasons: 

 

#1:  To show that I do empathize with most of what goes on within most people.

#2:  Examples can make learning difficult concepts easier to understand.

 

 

 

 

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Please click if interested:   More help from Pam to explore the Enneagram

 

 

 

 

Pamela J. Merten MS, LPC