1 page; each Enneagram Type is depicted within a box - naming both healthy  & unhealthy characteristics and the desire/fear of each type

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The tool I’ve used to BEST help individuals, families and couples discover more about who they are and what makes them tick is the ENNEAGRAM.   I’ve gathered together the following links that may help you to easily use this tool.

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Join Pamela J. Merten MS, LPC and others on Living Your Design Facebook page.  

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Emoting is not the same as being emotional or having  passion for and about something; emoting is not feeling.  “Emotions are a valuable resource.  Don’t waste them.”  My husband and best friend, Chaplain Phil Merten, came up with that this morning as we were drinking our coffee and reading the newspaper.  I loved it.  So true!

Think about any PBA relationships you’re involved with: Your parent, a relative, a spouse, etc. may be people who are more interested in how well you perform than in who you are. Some people believe God is like that, too. (I thoroughly disagree with that!!!! I say FIRE that god!)     Your Refuge from PBA relationships: Those people and God who are in ABP relationships with you! Being involved with them will help you cope with PBA relationships. And, hanging with those you have APB relationships with will give you courage to set boundaries with PBA relationships you’re involved in!

It happened gradually, my memory reminded me. I became more interested in what I looked like riding this beautiful creature than I did in him. He became secondary. The brushings became routine, a chore.  The pressure to perform and to perform well superseded the joy of the ride, the joy of the connection.

Many people don’t want to think about the concept.  Back in the day, verbal, physical and sexual abuse were pushed under the rug in the same way:  “Ignorance is bliss.”   Ignorance IS bliss – but not for the people who are being harmed; they need eyes that are opened so they can gain the support needed to recover; to heal.  I’ve said this many times before:  If your faith community enhances your life – WONDERFUL.  That’s what it’s supposed to do.  But if it’s harming you or others, please make a stand FOR freedom – even if and when it costs you!

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“I lack confidence,” a client informed me.  “I need to have it in order to do my job.”   I’ve known him for awhile and know he is a dedicated and meticulous employee.  I got red flagged. What was going on?

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I'm a licensed counselor and life coach.   And, I've been in the ministry for years. With that said, my dilemma has always been what to say when someone asks me, “Are you a Christian counselor?” or "How do you describe your spirituality?"  I think it's only fair to make an attempt to answer these questions for anyone who may want to hire me as their life coach and/or counselor.